You Can't Save Them All

Some time ago I heard Dick Bennett, the former head coach at Wisconsin and Washington State, speaking at a coaching clinic talk about something I have never heard talked about at a coaching clinic before. It was a topic many high school coaches end up having to deal with .... at least I had to.

Coach Bennett's topic was brief and to the point. Some players are so troubled that you can't fix them. He suggested, he had in the past, invested too much time and energy on dysfunctional individuals who ended up taking time and energy away from others. Is it that simple? Just reach a point and cut the player who is a problem? Then the obvious question becomes how do you know you have reached that point?

One year I had a young man transfer into our school district after the season had already begun. Now you don't have to be brilliant to realize there were some flashing neon signs about this situation. Troubled young people move in DURING the season. He was coming from a metro area and moving into a rural area. He was moving more than likely because he was struggling where he was at. Now I am not clairvoyant. but I knew just because he was changing his address, he was not leaving his problems behind. He lasted a few weeks and I ended up suspending him from the team. I wish I could tell you it was all his fault, but it was not. He was a troubled young man and I was threatened by his rebellion to my authority. Could I have handled the

situation better? Yes, absolutely. Could the player have been saved? I

seriously doubt it.

"Table for two please!"

There is no formula or recipe you can use as a coach to know how far to go to try and deal with

the rebellious player. You and you alone have to make the decisions as to how far down the road you are willing to travel. I am far from an expert on this. I have been very fortunate and must admit I have had very few players who I would classify as being "uncoachable.".

Those of us in the so called "public eye" are going to experience being in confrontations we cannot win. Players and parents are not all going to like you nor respect your decisions. Whether this is the correct way to do things or not, I seldom attempted to talk players who wanted to quit out of quitting. If I had the chance to talk with them, I tried to find out why they were quitting. I tried to be the adult in the room! I did not accuse them or attempt to sway their decision. I wished them well. On rare occasions I told them to take more time to think about their decision and if they wanted to return to the team at a later time they would be allowed to return.

Now the player that remains on the team but does not accept your coaching is much more difficult and I think that type of person was what Coach Bennett was warning us about. How much time and attention do

you spend dealing with this person? Now this is fairly easy if the player is overtly negative and even borderline disrespectful. THAT YOU CANNOT TOLERATE. As one coach put it at a clinic, "if you have a cancerous tumor

the best thing do is remove it!"

I believe this with my whole heart. Some players will need your program more than the program needs them! Because some individuals are extremely needy, you have to be careful in devoting more time to them than to other members of the team. If possible, I tried to find a role for the "needy" person but the truth is you may reach a point where they are sucking the life out of you and the team.

A fundamental tenet of my coaching philosophy was that NO ONE was more

important than the team. Needy, what I might call "extra grace required" players are a challenge. I wish I had an answer as to how far do you go with them. But I don't. My experience does tell me you can dedicate so much time and energy to that one player that it negatively impacts you and the team. If that happens, you have to make a choice.