Coaching is often reduced to winning and losing. If only it was that simple. One day several years ago I was sitting in my home office when my cell rang. It was a number I did not recognize but it was a local area code
so I figured it wasn't a telemarketer type call. So I answered. It was the Principal at the school I was still coaching at. She said I don't know how to tell you this but Bud has committed suicide. Bud (not his real name)
was a graduated senior and had played on the varsity for three years. He had graduated only a few days before he took his life. Ironically the senior letter I had sent him arrived at his home the same day he ended his life, but he never got the chance to open it. I was asked and agreed to read the letter at his funeral. The last place I wanted to read his letter. This was a young man who appeared to have so much going for him. He had been awarded a division 1 scholarship to play football. He was well liked and I loved him as if he were my own son. Some losses you get over, and others impact your life forever.
Of course, you ask yourself all of the expected under the circumstances type questions. Why did he do this? What caused this? What signs did I and others miss? Statistics tell us that there are about 3,000 teenage suicide attempts a day in this country. That is a shocking number. We, as coaches, pay attention to the physical health of the athletes we direct but are we paying attention to the mental health of those same athletes? I am not attempting to fix the blame or point fingers. The longer I coached the more responsibilities seemed to be added to our job description. We are concerned about concussions, asthma, blood born pathogens, heat exhaustion, and other issues. Are we aware not only of how we are going to attack the opponent's press but how about Sally's mood swings? Do we notice that Bobby has isolated himself in the locker room and seldom speaks to his team mates. Does Debbie walk down the hall looking at the floor and does not even raise her eyes to respond when you acknowledge her? How many signs did I miss or just brush off as being "typical" teenage behavior? I don't know. I do know I have a picture of Bud and his team mates on my desk. I have a poster of Bud and his last team on the wall of my office and I still have Bud's phone number in my cell. I can't bring myself to deleting it. I hope NONE of you ever have to experience this type of loss. Some losses you get over and some you don't.
A pastor I have a great deal of respect for says, God never wastes a hurt. He
had a son who also took his own life. The reality is it can happen to anyone.
If you are looking for a resource to deal with some of the mental illness issues often common to teenagers, I have found a site called "Alive to Thrive" to be an informative resource.
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